she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
