I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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