So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Houston, we have a squirter
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.