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I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
no you cant smoke seaweed
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
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