...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize