i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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