I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
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The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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