I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There r osticjed everywhere
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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