I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize