all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Let's paint friendship bongs
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
