Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
