If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I love having hate sex.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
