Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize