So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
