South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Someone signed my nipple.
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