Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
