are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
