Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
