She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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