I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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