Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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