YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
