I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
