I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
