my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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