I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
