ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
