But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
