One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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