Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I believe in your delicious
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
