Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
