Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
