this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
