Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
