I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
