They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
