Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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