If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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