I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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