Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
