The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you had me at cake vodka
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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