Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
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I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
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doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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