I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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