clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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