hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize