god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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