I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize