I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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