I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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