I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
