So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
