how do flat chested girls get laid?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
