Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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