I'm sorry my penis didn't work
there's paper in my vomit.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
