The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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