He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
