I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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